Dont let me screw this up..

Hey love,
I keep having these daymares (like a daydream- only terrible) its sad when even the good people in your life put you ill at ease.
By being with you, im discovering things about myself. I realize that I have emotional wounds that aren't healed.  I realize that part of me is afraid of a successful relationship because i've only ever known failures. I realize constantly that I need to experience you more to really know you.
I wonder sometimes if I really know you. Its the part of me that can't seem to trust (on any level) that causes me to think..."he could tell me anything and what? I just believe whatever comes out? How is that healthy?"
I guess when you get lied to as much as I have been and have observed people you love getting hurt often, its hard to shake the idea that anyone out there is out for your good or even worth the time when found.
We're in an ideal situation with each other and I really think the only problem is me. Sometimes when these thoughts are too much and I feel like they're overwhelming me......I want to call you and end us. I want to spare you the pain of a failed longterm relationship. I want to spare you the gut wrenching torture that is to have love and lose it.
It occurs to me just before im lost in the childish throws of giving up that you love me....you tell me you love me, you show me you love me and I believe that...if I believe that you love me, I trust you. If I trust you, I can't turn away from you. I now have a need in you for my completion and I won't ever know if im complete if I don't give us the best of me.
We're in it. There are risks and they are worth it. You are worth the risk of my heart breaking.
                               Yours,
                                  Sarah