after all this time

I apologized, I begged you to forgive me and to give us another chance. You said you did and you would. 10 years later and you just now realized that I made you feel unsafe in the relationship because of that.  

I feel like you never actually forgave me for breaking up with you.

I wish you had never given me that second chance if it meant you would secretly begrudge me for all these years. 

I wish you had gotten the grief counseling you needed. You'd be better off without us. 

its weird

If you told me that a guy i saw regularly and had to seek out troubled you, I'd find another way. Period. But thats just me. Im always ready to give up everything for what i think is love.... usually I do. Is it any wonder that i lose myself? 

There's so much you havent experienced in relationships, having had very few and none romantically. i get that there's a learning curve or margin of error but 11years? Im not the one dude. You were never in love, you just wanted love. I could've given you love as friend, you didnt need to climb into my heart and rip it up to make is comfortable for you. We could have just been good friends. 

My fault though, it always is.