So much for being understanding

You know how i know it would never work with anyone else? Because its not even a thought or consideration or comparison. I dont have to wonder if there would ever be anyone else because my heart has chosen you. Not because of things like distance, personal growth and change in personage. I didnt realize at the time you were telling me that my feelings were being hurt. I was too busy focusing on being there for you. Now i feel by telling you this, that you wont want to share with me in the future. Which tears me up because i like that we share. I wasnt prepared i guess.
I was just going to bury it and never say anything but it would have eaten me up inside ......like it currently is. I'll try to forget about it and move on. I don't want to talk about it. I had a dream that we tried talking about it and fought. I walked away, you let me, i woke up.

Puma

You havent said it in a long time. Im guessing its because you arent afraid to tell me you love me now :) does that mean you fell for me earlier than previously disclosed? It would delight me to no end if that were true but im super happy either way.
Its getting easier (because im doing it more often) to think of you and imagine a future. Both as to build trust and escape the various pains im discovering that have become my life.
I see clearly in these future glimpses all the reasons why i have this constant, underlying depression. Sometimes i see so clear that i think i might not be sad anymore but then comes the self doubt and weak inner speak....i defeat my own growth and good. How can i possibly be any good for you?
If its true that we are mirrors of each other, you make me like me. I'll keep working at it and i'll keep fighting my inability to trust and sadness.
I'll do anything and everything for you. I love you..